For some reason, over the last few years I've been getting really stressed out. I mean yeah, the pandemic definitely caused a part of that, but overall my stress seemed to come out of nowhere. I'd be driving home and just constantly felt like I had to go 100 mph and over take every car on the road just so I could get home, but then when I got home I didn't want to be there because home life was in a weird place. Full disclosure, I've got kids and a wife and a dog and another dog and a bunny named "Mr Bunny". We all live in a small 2 bedroom apartment in Los Angeles (yeah L.A the place I love and hate but need to leave because of the insanely high cost of living). To say it's been a challenge....yes 😅 Anyway, the stress was coming from everywhere and I didn't feel like I had a good way of dealing with it. Work was crazy stressful, the cost of living, the uncertainty of tomorrow, the realization that I was really at an age where I could get fired from my job for some obscure reason. My oldest daughter moved out into an apartment with a few friends and that seemed to help the stress, but I just couldn't shake it. I was constantly freaking out on everyone about money and everything. So one day I went driving around the LA Airport and discovered a weed dispensary. This wasn't something new, I have a colorful past with weed but after high school I never bothered to pursue it because it was illegal back in the day. Well, until I went to Boulder CO a few years ago and bought some edibles, thinking that would be a good place to start again. Well, being at an age where I am both near and farsighted (because life is funny like that!) I couldn't read the label on the package of the edibles and took half the bag. 45 minutes later I thought Jody Foster was in my hotel room standing right behind me and every time I turned around I thought I could see her for a split second. So I kept looking behind me for like 2 hours thinking I could see her 😂 Then I was convinced my heart had mysteriously grown outside of my chest and so I needed to lay down so I could die. Yep it was a hell of a night! And I seriously thought I was going to die in a run down hotel on the outskirts of Denver. But I promised if I did survive the night that I was going to do more edibles (see the logic there? if I live I was going to do more drugs! haha I have no idea either!) well I did survive the night, and felt amazing the next day - no stress. all the colors were vibrant and, by god, was I relaxed. So fast forward to now. I'm sitting in my closet (long story but I'm a bit of a recluse and like to hide from my family for long periods of time) but here I am living up to my promise.
That dispensary near the airport is perfect. It's right next to an upscale Gelato shop where all the "I think I'm rich" people hang out holding their expensive iPhones likes its another appendage and wag it every which way when they talk. There are a couple other bullshit boutique stores that sell custom made socks for $100 so you can image the clientele roaming the sidewalks. I come barreling down the sidewalk wearing my 8 year old torn sweatshirt and ripped jeans I bought from Target on the bargain rack. I've got a mostly gray beard and wear a baseball cap I bought from 7-Eleven for $3. So when people see me coming they usually look at me trying to figure out if I've got money and just cosplay as a bum, or if I'm an actual bum. There's actually a social movement? maybe not the right word but people in L.A who have lots of money try to hide it - so they drive around in old ass toyota corolla's and wear clothes they bought at WalMart. So the way you can tell if people are cosplaying as someone who is barely making it is that they always have 1 identifying physical trait that let's the rich people know they aren't actually broke. Usually they have bleached teeth or carry 2 phones, 1 iPhone (max/pro/latest) and a cheap ass Android from Boost Mobile. Not kidding this shit goes down. So these people cruise around pretending they're broke and will stroll into a high end boutique or wherever and smile then wave their phone around to signal that they have money. But then when they are in the "rougher" parts of town they pull out the $50 Android and keep their mouth closed. They have other physiological hacks too, but the point I'm trying to make and it's taking me forever to make this point because I'm high - is that I am broke and am going into this dispensary because I need drugs to survive this crazy beautiful life. Ok so now I'm not sure I'm making any sense because I think I'm getting pretty high off of that 1 edible....
yeah I think I'm going to end it here
and crawl into bed
because it's Monday night and I have work tomorrow and I'm not sure how I feel about all that
