So I was driving around today and headed towards the beach because that's what I do. And boy it seems like thats all I ever do now. My life has become a huge circle of driving. I get up in the morning and head to work, work for god knows how long in an empty office (no seriously....there is absolutely nobody else in the office. A woman who managed the mail twice a week used to come in but apparently she got the memo that after the 3rd layoff in as many months the corporate psychos running the company have now decided to close the only office the company has) sooo anyway, after work I head back home and make sure to take the beach way home because why else would you bother to sit in all that goddamn traffic if you can't at least stare at the ocean! So then I pull over at a gas station and buy a ridiculously expensive Starbucks energy drink for like $4 (I don't know how I started this terrible habit, but wow it's expensive) so then instead of taking a left and heading back to my small and dirty little apartment I keep going straight and fight the traffic towards the beach and drink my stupidly expensive energy drink and listen to jazz until I run out of road, and then turn around and head back home. I usually arrive back to my apartment around 7:30 pm and lay on my bed scrolling through Reddit and watching YouTube videos of airplanes with sketchy landings (trust me I know but I'm old but I find this completely amusing for some reason). Then to sleep (kind of because I get up another 4 times over the course of the night because of all the caffeine I just sucked down) and this and only this is what I have been doing over the last 2 1/2 years ( maybe even longer....) Even on the weekends I get a coffee and just aimlessly drive around Los Angeles for hours and hours - like it's bad. I'll drive from Torrance to San Pedro then out to Downtown Los Angels and head back home and take a nap, then get up an hour later and drive around the beach for another 2 hours drinking more coffee! All of this is absolutely ridiculous.
I no longer write
I no longer paint
I no longer self publish my poems
I no longer work out
I no longer give a shit
I'm just driving around in my car staring at the ocean, the night sky and people
And to be totally honest I am soo sick and tired of it
So today - I've decided to reboot my life! What does that mean exactly? Well, I guess for everything I am doing I am going to stop and for all the things I'm not doing I'm going to start.
You want to know if I'm actually going to do this? Well, I ate a fucking salad today!
